I “de-converted” from Christianity back 2007. There was the typical fallout: anger, frustration and flirting with Atheism for a short time. Overall, I learned that I do not like being “labelled” and have basically refused to identify myself with any particular group or way of thinking. I am striking my own path.
As I continue to grow and learn, I find myself increasingly looking back on my Christian days and understanding my former beliefs in entirely new ways. This is definitely interesting and allows me to traverse many lines of thought.
I now believe that Christianity could potentially be a good thing, but the modern versions are so warped and twisted that any true “freedom” a person attains is mired down in policy and politics and a system-of-belief.
During my de-conversion period, I had many illusions and delusions shattered. For one, I believed that since the “Church” was so deluded and full of hypocritical, play-acting, dumbed-down people that the rest of society must be enlightened and full of self-aware people.
I was woefully wrong.
When I look at North American society as a whole, I see a collective hive mentality that is completely focused on externals. We are a group that is so afraid of what is going on inside of us, that we will do almost anything to suppress our internal thoughts and emotions.
Christianity did see this problem at one point. I firmly believe that Jesus was actually trying to address these issues, not attempting to begin a new religious movement. However, at some point, the Christian Church began to look at “The World” as being part of the problem. Man was inherently sinful and needed an external “God” to come in and “fix” him. There was no talk about personal responsibility or self-examination. Instead, the solution was to repress every physical desire and emotion – achieve misery on Earth to attain perpetual joy in Heaven.
Those early Christian church leaders were wrong and the Christian church leaders of today are wrong. Man’s internal workings and desires are not the problem: man’s fear of man’s internal workings and desires is the problem and asking a faulty version of God to fix the problem is certainly not the solution.
Yes, “God” is faulty and it is not his/her fault that he/she is faulty. No, it is our fault. The god of this modern age is nothing like the gods of old. The Greek/Roman gods, Norse gods, Native American gods – all of these had something in common: they were flawed. They suffered from greed, pride, jealousy, lust and a host of other emotional ailments.
The stories told of these flawed gods were designed to teach the listener lessons about life – in a sense, they were “what not to do” stories. People and, apparently, gods learn more from their mistakes than from what they get right and herein is where lies “God’s” imperfection: he is supposedly perfect.
My argument is that perfection breeds stagnation, therefore, perfection is undesirable. If a being is perfect, how can he/she/it grow? That being will always be the same, never changing, therefore it can never grow, change, adjust, it can never adapt and thus, it dies. Perfection breeds stagnation; stagnation breed death.
By that example, the only way to achieve perfection is to die – always the same, never changing, just…dead. In a round-about way, the Christian church may get what they want.